Today, boys and sheilas, is Australia Day. Also known as Straya Day or Invasion Day by some, it is the official National Day of Australia. Celebrated annually on 26 January it marks the anniversary of the 1788 arrival of the First Fleet of British Ships at Port Jackson, New South Wales.

Eager to learn what makes Australians..well...Australian, I started looking for information on the World Wide Web. As usual, the Internet provided me with a wealth of invaluable information. Such as this very helpful website
stating that, “In Australia, expletives are used more liberally (as opposed to polite American and British speech). The more, the merrier. This a country where the word 'bastard' is a term of endearment.”
My mood immediately lifted as I now realized I had made a lot more friends in Perth than I’d previously realized.

The second thing I stumbled upon was a news item stating that
this years Australia Day Eat Lamb commercial had the dubious honor to be the most complained about Lamb Australia Day ad ever made in the history of the country
This could mean several things. For instance: Australians don't actually like eating lamb - and the people trying to convince them they should have lamb for dinner on their own National Day, did a very poor job.
Or Australians do like to eat lamb but some of the people watching the commercial simply didn't know enough about the Australian language to understand what the add is about (in which case I can recommend using the aforementioned website)

Either way the article triggered even a vegetarian like me to want to watch a commercial telling people to eat more lamb. Fascinating stuff. Even though no vegans were hurt in the making of this film, I could see why they were not in a hurry to come home and celebrate their National Day with their Aussie mates.
It’s obvious: according to the makers of the commercial you're as un-Australian as they come if you don’t put lamb on the barbie. If this was true, the commercial crushed any hopes I may have had of ever becoming a true Australian.
And that’s sad, because looking at the 2012 commercial starring the same Lambassador Sam Kekovich I really had the feeling that, with a bit of work, I could have what it takes.

Perhaps I should have given up right there, but in the interest of the non-vegetarians among you, I decided to dig a little deeper. Now, this is where it gets really interesting. If you are not a fan of (Australian) expletives, the online course “How to Talk Australians” is probably not for you.
But it contains some invaluable insights into Aussie habits and culture. From the Hills Hoists
to The Great Aussie Sickie, the Indian professors teach you everything you never realized you needed to learn about Australia (and perhaps shouldn’t)

I'll be off now to get a refreshing lemon, lime & bitters. It can never substitte lamb but it will give me a hint of the life I could have led as a true Australian.